So I bet you are wondering how the First Amendment made its way into my blog about domestic financial abuse. Well let’s just say, SJC’s need for control extended to my inalienable right to freedom of speech as well since abusers like to exert power over their victims. Yes that is right, you read that sentence correctly. SJC wanted to prevent me from exercising free speech. Where was the ACLU when I needed them?
It all began in March 2013, when I found out that my civil case against SJC for the money he still owed came to a screeching halt after he subsequently filed for bankruptcy listing me (and my son) as creditors! In careful review of his bankruptcy filing, SJC curiously listed his girlfriend, mother, uncle and both maternal grandparents as creditors as well in an attempt to hide his deliberate motivation to eliminate the debt he owed to us. In a desperate plea for help, I sent an email to mutual colleagues and friends asking for assistance in getting SJC to do the honorable thing. Since I felt that the legal system was failing me, I was hoping to appeal to people’s sense of compassion and empathy.
In response to my email, SJC had the bold audacity to file a domestic violence restraining order against me. My abuser was now accusing me of domestic violence! He wanted to prevent me from speaking out and breaking the silence of abuse. In open court, his attorney feebly argued that my emails have affected SJC’s work and personal reputation and that they want the Court to order me to stop. Later, when it came time for me to speak (since I could not afford legal representation), I counter argued that it was not my email communications which have impacted SJC’s reputation but that in fact it was a direct result of his own actions and behavior. Rather than take ownership or accountability for ensuing events, SJC tried to squarely place blame on me. Needless to say, the Judge rightfully dismissed the domestic violence restraining order against me on the legal basis for freedom of speech. Although it was a small battle that was won, it made me feel a sense of empowered self worth that I haven’t felt in years. This time the justice system prevailed and speaking out in defense of my rights proved to be successful!
Remember, domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior that involves power, isolation and control. Abusers have the “ability to fool themselves and others. They are artists in their ability to find ways to blame other people or events for their inappropriate behavior”. For more profile information about abusers, please click on this link. To get out of an abusive relationship, break the cycle by breaking the silence! Help cannot find its way to you unless you tell someone about the abuse.